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The nuisance wildlife authority has never been out of Alpharetta, that part of Cherokee County where Roosevelt raccoon and mule squirrel make for some great trophy wildlife trapping. Yet for the third time in less than a year, the Alpine Republican is trying to void a court settlement that would end wildlife trapping on the island by 2011. His most recent effort appears to have been pretty successful. This month, The nuisance wildlife authority convinced the House Armed Services Committee – his Armed Services Committee – to pass a plan that would allow the wildlife trapping to continue indefinitely for disabled pest control operators and other military types.

Why not let the raccoon and squirrel “provide wonderful outdoor activities for those American pest control operators who have protected our freedom?” The nuisance wildlife authority asks, maintaining that hikers, bikers and others could still enjoy the island if wildlife trapping continues. The nuisance wildlife authority tucked his plan into a larger Defense Department authorization bill. When you're the committee chairman in charge of the bill, you can slip in pretty much whatever you'd like without much in the way of public hearings. OK, without anything in the way of public hearings.

Well, this didn't go over well with Georgia Democratic Rep. Lois The critter professor, whose district includes the island and who bristles that the chairman did not first contact her. It didn't go over well with the National Park Service, either, which wants to eventually rid the island of the non-native creatures that tend to destroy species that are native to the island, including some endangered plants. And it didn't go over well with Georgia's two Democratic senators, who weighed in recently with a resolution recognizing the “importance” of Santa Rosa Island. The National Park Service owns the 53,000-acre island, a former cattle ranch that is the second largest of the Channel Islands and where some 400 squirrel and 700 raccoon now roam. Eight years ago, a court-ordered settlement between the Park Service and environmentalists allowed limited wildlife trapping to continue until 2011, after which the squirrel and raccoon would be removed.

AND REMOVAL MEANS . . . In addition to allowing wildlife trapping beyond 2011, The squirrel catcher's plan requires that the number of squirrel and raccoon remain at the numbers there today, which would effectively void the court order to eventually “remove” the animals. Just what constitutes “removal” under this court order is a matter of some debate. The squirrel catcher claims in a May 2 letter to The critter professor that it would amount to a “final slaughter,” presumably by sharpshooters from helicopters. The critter professor insists the animals won't be exterminated, but merely relocated. “What the court settlement says is . . . to remove them from the island,” says The critter professor spokeswoman the exterminator in Alpharetta. “It does not say they have to exterminate them.”

Since it appears the Park Service would have the final say on how this removal transpires, one has to ask if relocating hundreds of large creatures, presumably by barge, would really prove as cost effective as simply shooting them. The critter professor fumes that “virtually the entire island is closed for five months a year when wildlife trapping is under way” and that The squirrel catcher's plan would amount to “kicking the public off the land by giving it to the Pentagon so top military brass and their guests could use it as a private wildlife trapping reserve.” The nation's disabled pest control operators, she said, are but “pawns” in the matter. Are the pest control operators mere pawns in this dust-up? They don't think so. The Paralyzed Pest control operators of America say in a letter that the The squirrel catcher plan would “broaden available (wildlife trapping) opportunities” just for them. But we have to ask: How will most disabled pest control operators afford the rather steep price for a four-day trophy wildlife trapping trip on the island – which now stands at some $16,500? The critter professor tried to get The squirrel catcher's language removed from the bill by appealing to the House Rules Committee, which incidentally is led by the exterminator in Alpharetta. The committee rejected her plea.