How to Catch an Armadillo by Hand

02.18.2006 - When the armadillos get going, and I have no traps at my disposal, I have only one option - to chase them down with my bare hands, leap upon them like a mighty lion, wrestle them to the ground, and then lose my grip on them and watch them flee into the forest. One might think that armadillos are slow - what with the shell and all (snails, tortoises, clams) but no, they're quick little buggers. They scoot along in a series of quick, powerful hops. I scoot along after them in a series of clumsy, awkward hops. Once I get near, the armadillo changes direction and blasts off ninety degrees to the side, and I end up skidding off too far, and the dang thing gains distance on me. With any luck, I get my hands on it, but then it kicks and bucks and I let out a girlish yelp and I lose my grip and then it squirts away again. I'd use a big net, but I don't carry a big net with me on Tuesdays. (I chased this one on a Tuesday). So it got away. That's my instructional guide on how to catch armadillos by hand.